just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
