ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
