I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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