I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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