I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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