this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
