FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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