So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
