Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
