You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
My Higher Power is John Stamos
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
