she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
