Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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