Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
