Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
