Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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