listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
