she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
