I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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