someone get that fucking seahorse.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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