I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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