That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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