Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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