oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Only a mothe r could love this liver
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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