I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
