"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
