let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
