Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
