Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Sext me about skeletons
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
