Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Randomize
