i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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