Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
