Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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