soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
