I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
