I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
