On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
