His pubic hair was longer than his dick
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
