i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Welp...herpes.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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