Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
