I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
