Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
