so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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