do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
