he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
