OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
