We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
