There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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