Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize