I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
