When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
